RETORIKA - Tatjana Zidar Gale s.p.

Resolving conflict situations

(Become a goal-oriented colleague who can understand him/herself and others)

 

PURPOSE

You would like to establish good relations with your colleagues because you know that this is the only way to achieving desired results. While it is important for you to be goal-oriented, it is also vital that you can approach people, and understand their second thoughts, fears, wishes, needs and expectations. You thus need to be able to set a common goal while considering the interests of your colleagues. There will be misunderstandings which should be resolved, and different ideas about how work should be done which need to be consolidated.

What do you do when interests conflict or even cancel each other out? When common goals are perceived differently? When there is tension and every one insists on their own way? Do you forget about communication rules and take problem solving to a personal level? When feelings are excited, attacks and insults may follow...

In such moments it is imperative to consider the basic principles of resolving conflict situations:
Distinguish the problem from the people. Be hard on the problem and soft on the people. Do not solve problems by attacking people. Work with people to attack the problem.

Also, consider the following:
 “Do not look for culprits in the past, look for a solution for the future,” all you'll do a much better job.


CONTENT

1. WHAT IS A CONFLICT? WHEN AND HOW DOES IT ARISE?

  • Perceiving problems
  • Origins of problems (within a person, in their map of the world or outside it, etc.)
  • Personal perception of problems
  • Factors of personal perception (beliefs, values, experiences, emotions, interests, expectations, needs, etc.)
  • The most frequent responses

2. THE PROCESS OF RESOLVING CONFLICT SITUATIONS

  • Problem state v. desired state
  • Guiding interlocutors from a problem state to a desired state
  • What tools to employ?
  • Controlling your and your interlocutor’s emotions
  • Controlling your and your interlocutor’s responses
  • Resolving conflict situations and duration

3. THE PITFALLS OF DIFFICULT EXCHANGES (The Harvard Method)

  • Every exchange is a combination of three basic types of exchange:
    • the “what happened” exchange
    • an exchange about emotions
    • an exchange about identity
  • Distinguishing and approaching them efficiently
  • Exploring truth, purpose and guilt; the most frequent mistakes
  • Purpose v. behaviour v. influence

4. THE BASIC PRINCIPLES OF PROBLEM SOLVING (HARVARD PRINCIPLES)

  • Four starting points:
    • People, interests, options, standards
  • Four principles:
    • People v. the problem
    • Interests v. positions
    • (Acknowledge and admit individual interests, 
      find common interests, 
      put the problem before the answer, 
      look forward, not back.)
    • Insist on objective standards
    • Find multiple solutions

GOALS – Benefits for participants

  • You will learn how to respond in conflict situations.
  • You will be aware of what is happening to you and your interlocutors in such situations.
  • You will know how to choose your response (and not react instinctively when tense, nervous, angry, etc.).
  • You will be able to respond proactively when resolving conflicts.
  • You will learn about the biggest mistakes when resolving conflicts (e.g. adopting positions such as I am right; I know my interlocutor has bad intentions; and trying to find a culprit).
  • You will learn ways to correct these mistakes.
  • You will learn to consider subjective and objective factors in seeking a solution.
  • You will be able to find solutions which will ensure more efficient cooperation and better results (goals reached) in the future.

 

Personal coaching and therapy

Contact

Phone:
+386 1 437 23 33
Fax:
(01) 437 23 33

Address:
҆martinska 68, 1000 Ljubljana